There's a word for them!

Studying for the GRE is driving me bonkers! I don't get it. The English language has billions of words, and I need to know all of them if I'm going to truly be prepared for this test. The other day I took a practice test and scored a 680. Yesterday, I took a practice test and scored a 530. It just depends on the words they test me on. Supposedly, the test is "adaptive," but if that's the case, then why is there such a difference between my two scores? I'd like present my perspective on this test during the analytical writing section!

I'm just freaking out because so much hangs in balance on this test. I need to do well on it! Going to graduate school to study English--rhetoric, literature, theory, teaching--is the only thing I want to do with my life. I would do well in graduate school and I'm nervous because my fate isn't left up to me; it's left to the admissions committee. I know I did poorly the first time around in undergraduate studies, but that's why I returned to school this semester to show my dedication and ability to make A's.

So, last night, I was looking up all the words I missed on the test. One of the words, GADFLY, is a gem!

GADFLY--figurative: an annoying person, esp. one who provokes others into action by criticism.

Suprise!

What Have I Been Doing Since I Last Blogged:

1. Finishing this semester. My last final (in tech editing) is today form 10:15-12:15.
2. Finished reading Anna Karenina. It's a good book but quite laborious. The relationships are fun to read about, but the political/religious/philosophical talk is somewhat "burdensome."
3. Started studying for the GRE, which I take on Dec. 28th. SOOO nervous!
4. Worked on my grad school application and got letters of recommendations from my professors.
5. Had Brad's family in for Thanksgiving. It was really, really nice to see them. We went to the TN Valley Winery, rode the Foothills Parkway, went shopping, watched Lord of the Rings, and had a Thanksgiving Feast.
6. Met Brad's mom's fiance at Thanksgiving. We're glad she seems happy.
7. My grandfather passed away the Friday after Thanksgiving. It was my grandmother's birthday. Brad and I went down for the funeral. We were expecting it, but it still hurts quite a bit.
8. Saw the movie Borat. It's hilarious!

Yeah, so, I guess I haven't really done much outside of school for the past month. I've written quite a few papers and studied for the GRE. I'm super, super nervous about getting into graduate school since my previous grades aren't so hot. The GRE is making me nervous too. I am trying to build my command of vocabulary, but it's slow going. I will probably be on a social hiatus until after Dec. 28th. I have one social engagement this Friday night with Brad's work, but I'll probably retreat from society for a while. It's easier to remember vocabulary when you don't have to think about anything else--like carrying on a conversation. ;o)

Ho Hum!

I feel like I have a little bit of breathing time right now. I only have three more papers left to write for this semester and one technical document to edit. Yeah! Although I have a paper due this Tuesday, I'm not stressed out by it. It'll get done. The GRE exam is somewhat on my mind. I really need to get a move on studying for it. I just need to get through to the end of the semester and everything will be fine. Work is like this constant dread...I have to stay at the "office"/computer all day in case something needs to be done. It's pointless really, but at least they're paying for me to sit here! :O) I'm nervous about applying to grad school...what happens if I don't get in (because I probably won't)? I need to talk to my professors to see what they have to say; I'll have to figure out when their office hours are.

I'm reading Anna Karenina right now, and it is quite absorbing and interesting. :O)

Okay, I thought I had time to chat, but I don't. I need to get some stuff done around the house.

Updating

First off, everything is great with Brad and I again. We went through a rough patch, but everything is back to normal. We understand the boundaries of acceptable behavior and inexcusable reactions. I think our relationship had become stagnant for a while and any reaction is needed to wake us up to the reality of our love. I don't want to say that we become complacent, but essentially, that is what is was.

Did everyone vote yesterday?

I made another 100% on a paper! This one was on the rhetoric of gender. I limited my discussion to positive images, because, for one thing, I don't buy the "glossies" because they do influence me. I clarified that point during the first part of my paper. Yeay!

It's a rainy day, but I'm enjoying it. There is something about a rainy, fall day. I feel so warm and snugly in my house. :o)

I'd better get to work. I'll write again soon!

I don't know

I'm not sure what to think of the relationship I'm in with Brad. I know one thing: it isn't necessarily a good thing. He doesn't support me and just gets mad at me if something doesn't go according to his schedule (yes, he is the one that thinks he is "spontaneous" and "flexible"). For example, I went to lunch with my friend, R, yesterday. It was great to see her and to catch up on everything. It was so much fun! We laughed and laughed about "Neuticles" (the ball implants for pets), and time passed without us realizing it. I looked down at my watch and saw that it was 5:00! I took R home and hurried home. I knew me being out so late wouldn't sit well with Brad. He's very particular. When I got home, he went off on me because I made us miss the spin class. I didn't apologize; I didn't do anything wrong. I just don't feel like I made us miss the spin class; he could have gone without me! So, I asked him if he was ready to go workout, and he went off about how I was selfish and critical of him. I really have no clue where that came from. He muttered some things about me under his breath, but I didn't say anything. He got ready to workout and just left while I was changing into my workout clothes. I drove over in a separate car because I wanted to work out. After doing a bit of cardio, I asked him for the workout schedule. He offered to show me which exercises I needed to do, which was nice. One of the exercises I wasn't sure how to do it even after he explained it to me. He goes, "Are you stupid or something? What the fu*k don't you understand?" I just turned and walked away; I don't need to listen to him talk to me like that!! While I was doing one of the exercises, he came over and asked me if I had anything to drink with R. I had 2 beers over the course of 4 hours. He asked me who else was there. There wasn't anyone else there. He kept prodding asking questions obviously believing that it wasn't just R and me. I sick of this! I really don't know if I can take much more of his attitude towards me. It sucks! I have no idea what I did to deserve this treatment. For a while, I thought it was something I did, or that I somehow offended him. But, you know, I think he has some control or emotional issues. . . something. I'm not going to allow him to take me down. . . or make me feel bad about myself. I've had abusive boyfriends in the past (one broke my hand), and I don't want to be in one again. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I'm the one that has a problem? I can't imagine what it is but maybe I did something to trigger this anger in him? I really don't know. I do know that it is hurting me, and I don't feel like he really wants me to be happy. He never asked how R is doing, or stating that he was glad I had fun with a friend. He could have handled the situation so much differently than the way he choose to. I'm just hurting inside, and I can't turn to him because he is the one that is hurting me.

Missed them!

We didn't have any trick-or-treaters last night. Oh, yes, they were swarming all over the neighborhood, but we didn't turn any of our lights on and we stayed in the basement. :O) We went to work out around 5:30 and didn't leave the gym until about 7:30ish. We did a spin class with an instructor we haven't had before. It was a dude that totally kicked ass! He pushed us to our limits. It was awesome. I am so not an anti-female person, but I really think the female spin instructors don't push you to improve. When they say, "If you're comfortable, turn up your resistance a little," he said, "It is human nature to set the limits for the body when it starts to feel uncomfortable--you can always push yourself harder--you are capable of doing more. DIAL UP YOUR RESISTANCE!!!" Maybe I just like the military/commanding style better? Anyway, it was a great workout and I didn't feel bad about not riding the Parkway.

I have a media watchdog paper to write for next Tuesday. It's one of those really vague assignments that you get to pick the topic yourself, which is sometimes a really good thing. I'm kinda lost on this one. The professor must think that we, the class, just have all kinds of time to devote to her class. She wants us to watch the news for five days, listen to the radio, read magazines, books, online articles, but no newspapers. We're suppose to research how a topic is presented in each of these areas, find the biases, and then argue our own position on the issue. Seriously? I have no idea where to start. I'm kinda thinking about doing something on North Korea? I would love for the whole Tour/Landis fiasco to still be prominent in the news, but alas, I shall have to content myself with politics. What else could I have a position on? Fantasy sports? Oh! I could write about health! That could be interesting! I'll spend some time searching the Internet for a topic.

I really need work to be over. I have so much to do for school and around the house. I desperately need to finish the quilt for the guest bedroom. I made purses for my friend S's birthday and my sister's birthday. I need to mail them out! My friend, K, is getting married this weekend. It's an outdoor wedding, so I hope the weather is nice... for her sake and for the guests.

Oh, yes, it has been a while

Wow! School and work have kept me extremely busy. Not to mention: biking, reading, sewing, hanging out with Brad. One of my classes was cancelled this morning, so I finally have to write. Isn't everyone so happy? :O)

Let's see. What have I done of interest since the last time I wrote? Good question. Finished A Confederacy of Dunces. It is a great book, and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a funny, thought-provoking book. I would discuss it in greater detail, but I know a few people currently reading it that might read this blog, so I won't. Now, I'm reading Anna Karenina. I'm on page 125 out of 850. It's extremely interesting--there are such differences in how gender is viewed compared to current standards. After reading on Friday night, I settled down to sleep, and I found myself thinking of what it would have been like to not have the ability to vote, own property, be independent. Women have only recently been able to be their own person, independent of others--especially males. I'm not as strong of a feminist as I used to be, but when I read books like this one, it makes me realize how far we have come.

Let's see, what else? Started training on the bike again. It is looking like we'll be able to do the double century ride next year--the one I have been excited about ever since I heard about it. I'm really, really hoping we can afford the tickets out there. A lot of that will depend on whether I have a job or not. I'm still thinking about grad school, but we'll see if I can get in first.

Brad and I are doing all right. For some reason, he has been extremely critical lately. It's not that he is intentionally being mean, but he doesn't have much patience and gets angry about things that aren't a big deal. It's very frustrating to live with someone that thinks they can complain about how dirty the house is but then leaves wrappers and dishes throughout the house. To be completely honest, I'm tired of picking up after him, so I've been leaving everything where it is. When he complains now, I just ignore him and hope he realizes that he is a big contributing factor to making it dirty. But, if I let something slip, then I get a lecture. I don't get it. Another thing I don't get is that he doesn't let me enjoy things if he doesn't enjoy them. Does that make sense? Like rap songs on the radio. Sometimes he humors me and lets me turn them up and dance around. But, at other times, he gets upset about the "loud" music. Then, he gets to decide what our monetary priorities are. I don't spend much money, but occasionally, I'll buy something I think we'll enjoy. For example, I bought us a toaster oven so that when we have something little to heat up we don't have to turn on the "big" oven. He thought that was a waste of money. Maybe it was, but I thought it would be a nice thing to have. The next day, we go out and he gets a hand saw something or rather because we need it for the house. Really? I don't know. He hasn't been very tender or affectionate towards me lately. I don't know what is up. I've always thought he has control issues, and now that I am standing up for myself, he's getting disoriented and doesn't understand what is going on. We'll talk about marriage one minute and how excited we are. But the next minute, he's going off on me about something and saying stuff about how he's glad we're not married yet because we need to work "that" out. Whatever. The thing that really irritates me though is the fact that he is willing to say things to me in public. It's one thing to have a problem with me, it's another to go off on me in public. He's extremely nice around friends though.

Opps. Didn't mean to vent for a minute there. Here's a post I wrote last year on my old blog. It's about Halloween, which freaks me out.

Halloween night. Normally on this day each year I hide myself away in a room that doesn't have windows and keep all the lights off. Actually I haven't done that in 3 years but that used to be my Halloween night ritual. It's hard to believe but I've never been trick or treating and I'm scared to death of the kids that walk around in scary costumes. My parents raised me strict Southern Baptist and never allowed me to participate in such a satanic holiday. Never mind the real reason for Halloween; they only care about the devil worshipping that is suppose to culminate on this day. I remember when I was in fifth grade they took me to church to watch a film about devil worshipping and Halloween. I promise you I have not been the same since. TERRIFIED ME!!! To be completely open, I wanted to lose my virginity after that because I did not want to be a virgin sacrifice. I secretly decided that should someone nab me I would lie to them so that I wouldn't be sacrificed for being holy. Yes, I decided that "thou shalt not lie" was not a commandment when it came to saving the earthly dwelling of my soul. You can bet your bottom dollar that if I ever have kids I will be taking them out on Halloween night. Apart from the spirituality of the day, there is sense of community that I missed experiencing. The feeling of camaraderie with other kids having fun and of goodness that people open their doors and give (even if it only results in cavities). :o)

I'm not reading over everything I've written today, so if there are any grammatical errors, please excuse them. I need to get ready for school. I'll try to be more consistant about blogging. Work should be slowing down again after this week, so I'll have more time to devote to writing.

Blahbity-blah

Earlier today I knew what I wanted to write about on my blog, but for now, it has escaped me.

Brad was on a business trip the other night, and I decided that it would be great to put together a bookshelf. I've been wanting another bookshelf for quite a while, but we never seem to find time to get one. I finally decided that I would just do it since I had time. Since I'm pretty new to the whole furniture building thing, I thought it best to use an electric drill on the screws. You know, to make sure they were nice and tight. The bookshelf I purchased is one of those particle-board cheapies from Target. Apparently, it is quite easy to strip the screws on particle-board...especially if you're using an electric drill. Anyways, the bookshelf was put together, but it wasn't very stable. Last night, I decided to move it from where I put it together to it's new location in the corner. Wrong. As I was sliding it across the floor, the bookshelf started leaning. (The new cheapies are made from four vertical boards versus the old ones that were more stable with only two vertical boards.) It ended up breaking at the joint that connected the two vertical boards on the left side. Thankfully, I still have a 1/2 bookshelf since I removed the "top" part from the "bottom" shelves. It's working out great and doesn't block any light from hitting my desk! Yes!

I want to organize my books on an Excel spreadsheet so that I can easily see what is in my library. Of course, I'll mark the books I haven't read yet in an effort to keep myself from purchasing new books at a faster rate than I read the books I already have. I go in spurts it seems. I didn't buy a new book for about a year, and then all of a sudden, I just started grabbing all the books I've been contemplating buying (about five of them). It'll probably last about another week, and then I won't buy any more books for another year. It's just one of those things I'm obsessed with...pens, books, and sewing material. It used to be pens, books, and lipsticks. At least everything will get used at some point. Yes, I'm sure someone out there is saying that I should go to the library (if my Dad knew about this blog that is exactly what he would say), but I like to write comments in the margins and underline meaningful quotes. You can't do that with public library books. I like to interact with my books not just read them. :o)

When is laundry done?

Household chorses never seem to end, right? Well, I have a question for you: when is laundry done? I think Brad and I have a different idea of what it means to "do the laundry." Brad likes to put the clothes in the washer; move them to the dryer; and then dump them on the couch claiming that he did the laundry, and now I need to fold and put it away. I think that if you want to get credit for "doing the laundry" you have to manage it from washing it to putting it away. What do you think?

I'm getting a haircut after school today. I love it when people play with my hair! It's so expensive to go to the salon, but I'm vain enough to continue. I have an interview to conduct at 5 p.m., and then I'm going to dinner with my friend, K, and her fiance, S. It should be fun!

Better get ready for school...I need to leave in approximately 20 minutes.

There's a lot

There is so much going on right now. I'm finding that I must create lists to remember everything I need to do. It's the good kind of stress (well, writing this one paper is the bad kind of stress) and is quite different from my last job. I'm driven by producing results. For me, part of producing is the process. I like to work things that take a few days to complete--not doing something quickly just so it is done. I know I'm talking somewhat vaguely, but I don't want to say anything that sounds negative about my former employer.

Brad and I are going to send my grandmother some money. Since my grandfather is in the hospital, I'm sure she is struggling. About 20 years ago they were sued (for a very stupid reason) and lost all of their money. They haven't been financially stable since. My grandfather was working, but not making enough money to really save. So, we're going to send a little money. It has been rough the past two months since I wasn't working, but we're quite sure we're not as tight as she is right now. Plus, she is my family, and we love her.

It's going to be a long day at work, but I'm looking forward to it since I'll be busy! Tonight I'm going to finish the paper I don't want to write! Lofty goal? I hope not.

Weekend Update

This post will be about my weekend, but did anyone see the season opener for Saturday Night Live? Tina Fey is gone! Anyways.

Brad and I had a really great weekend! We made a little fire in our fire-bowl and burned the branch that fell off one of our trees during the storm last week. That was really nice. We just sat there watching the fire and talking. It felt like we were camping, something we haven't done in quite a while. On Saturday, I worked on and finished one of my papers that is due Tuesday, and I began researching the topic I planned to write on for my other paper. I've decided since then that I will write on a different topic--road cycling in Knoxville and Driver Education. Yesterday (Sunday), Brad and I went to church, and then we rode our bikes!

It was so wonderful to be back on the bike! We did a 35 mile ride, and I'm not sore one bit. I was afraid I might be since I haven't been able to exercise for about 2 months now. To be honest, I think my body needed the rest. We rode one of my favorite short rides...it goes through a lot of Tennessee farm land and is a gorgeous route!

There is only one person (that I know of) that is reading A Confederacy of Dunces. It is such a wonderful book...I've been going through it slower than I normally would, but it is one of those books that you don't want to rush through--it's so good that you don't mind reading it slowly because that means it will last longer. :O)

good/well or good/evil

A couple weeks ago, my friend, A, and I went to the used bookstore. After browsing for a while, we finally made a decision on which gems we would purchase. A paid for her books and turned to me and said, "I did good!" I immediately corrected her with an exasperated, "WELL!" She looks at me and says, "I did GOOD as in I did not do EVIL!" It was hilarious; I wonder how long she had been thinking of that one and just waiting to use it.

Brad's mom sent me the most gorgeous pen for my birthday. It's made from seven different types of wood! It's beautiful and writes very well. Pens are so cool. I've "collected" them for as long as I can remember. I tried to kick the habit for about a year; I actually threw the majority of my collection away--they were taking up too much space. Yes, I had that many pens. I'm trying to be more critical of the pens I purchase...I'm not buying a pen simply because I don't have one like it. I can tell which ones I'll definitely like versus the ones that I know are awful. So that's good.

I have been slammin' busy with school and work. I love both, but it is quite a bit of work. It has been difficult to get to sleep at night, and I think it is because I've been so active during the day that my brain will just not stop. I lie awake thinking of everything I need to do and how I'll do it. After accidentally sleeping in on Tuesday, I didn't know where my first class would be meeting this morning (the professor doesn't want to walk all the way to the other side of campus from her office, so we hold class in the library--in a different room every time), so I sent an email to everyone in the class to find out. One person wrote back to tell me where class would be and to also give me the good news: our paper on the rhetoric of 9/11 isn't due until next Tuesday! It's not due today! I was overjoyed to find that out last night! I have most of it written, but I need to write the intro and conclusion. I finished my other homework, but I still wasn't done until 11:30 p.m. after starting my day at 8:30 a.m. I'm NOT complaining, just merely remarking on why sleep has been slow to come to me. My brain just wants to veg out after going for so long without a break (I didn't take a lunch break, but I did take and hour between work and doing homework to eat dinner and to exercise for 30 minutes).

I'm finally feeling well enough to exercise again. There's still a bit of congestion going on, but it's not too bad. We're hoping to ride our bikes on Saturday. Brad rode last night and feels great. Yeay!

Well, I'd better go get ready for school! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!

Grandparents

My paternal grandparents came in town yesterday so that Grandfather can go to the dentist today. He will only go to this one particular gentle dentist. They drive 4 hours to TN every six months or so. I like it because that means I get to see them! They took Brad and me to dinner; it was so much fun! My grandmother is so sweet and so cute! She has a fantastic southern drawl that always puts a smile on my face.

While we were at dinner, they told us a story about their friend, Al. Apparently, Al would throw parties quite often, and Grandmother and Grandfather would not attend. One day they got an invitation to attend a party for Al, and they decided to finally go to one of his parties. When they got to the festivities, they filled their plates and sat at one of the tables to talk with friends. Finally, Grandmother says she looked around and then leaned over to the friend sitting next to her and sweetly asked, "Where's Al?" Grandfather chimed in, "Where is Al? We haven't seen him for a while, and now he's not at his own party?" Everyone was horrified! The friend sitting next to Grandmother said, "Al has been dead for a month! This is his memorial!" My Grandparents said they were so embarrassed!


In other news, my maternal Grandfather is not doing well. After breaking his hip a couple weeks ago, he is now in the hospital due to a kidney infection and pneumonia. I don't know what is going to happen.

I still don't feel very well. My throat is still sore, and I'm thinking about going to the doctor. I'm pretty sure it's just a sinus infection (biggest evidence of that: major nasal drainage), but my throat is feeling very icky. I accidentally overslept this morning, which is probably a good thing since I need sleep to heal. I'm going to take a shower and head to my other classes.

Last night

I had so much fun last night! My friends, K, S, and R, came over for a grill out, and then we went country line dancing. It was so much FUN! We got along so well, and there was a lot of laughter. E was unable to attend because her flight from CA was delayed. She didn't arrive in Knoxville until after midnight. She's marching in the Alumni band today so I'm not sure when I'll see her. Tonight, Brad and I are eating dinner at our neighbors. I'm hoping we don't spend all night over there, but we'll see. I have a lot of homework to finish this weekend. I have a paper due on Thursday, and I'll need to get a large chunk of it done before Monday. Working has prohibited me from doing much during the week. I can't imagine writing a whole paper during the week!

Well, I need to type up my response to the reading I've completed so far. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

Short Post

This is going to be a short post because work starts in 7 minutes.

I'm feeling much better, and my voice isn't quite as croaky.

Last night, I went to a lingerie shower for my friend, D. It was a lot of fun. We ate at a Japanese restaurant and made her open her gifts in public. It was funny, and I think she enjoyed herself.

A few of my friends are coming over tonight for a grill out. It should be fun. I haven't seen one of my friends, E, in a long time. She moved to CA, and we don't get to see each other as much. I'm thinking of taking a trip out there sometime after Christmas.

Okay, I should go and get my desk prepared for work. Hope everyone has a great day, and I'll try to post again later or this weekend!

Wonderful

I had a wonderful birthday! For my Birthday Dinner, Brad took me to Abuelos. It was fantastic! I can't wait for another thing to celebrate so we can go back! Actually, it wasn't terribly expensive. Compared to past Birthday Dinners it was cheap--I ordered one of the most expensive entrees on the menu at $14.99. (Last year we went to Baker Peter's Jazz Club where a steak is $30.) Every single bite I put into my mouth was superb! So good!

My favorite book of all time, All the King's Men, has been made into a movie and will be released tomorrow. I'm having friends over for a grill out tomorrow night, but Brad and I are there on Saturday! It stars Jude Law, Kate Winslet, and Sean Penn. It looks pretty good. Brad has read the book and loves it too.

I thought I was getting better, but this morning I woke up with a lot of nasal drainage. Thankfully, I don't have to talk much today. I would think about skipping my first class, but we have a quiz and I can't miss that! :o)

IT'S MY BIRFDAY!!!!!

Wow! 27 feels different! I woke up this morning to Brad bringing me breakfast in bed--eggs and pancakes! I got to open my presents: a really nice CD player for my crafting room, a Bible cover, and two Chuck Palahnuik novels (Diary and Haunted). Palahnuik is one of my favorite authors ever...he uses such a unique writing style and startling subject matter. I'm super excited! My friend, D, is going to take me to a celebratory Birthday Lunch. :o)

I feel a lot better today, but my voice is still a bit croaky. I hope I'm able to do my job! I'll be working until about 6:30, and then Brad is going to take me for my Birthday Dinner. I think we're going to try a new restaurant; I'll let you know how it is.

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! It's going to be a wonderful day!!!

Birthday anticipation

When I got home from school today, I let the dogs inside then got the mail. I was walking back from the mailbox when I looked down the street and saw the UPS truck coming towards our house. I slowed down and the UPS driver slowed down. My heart leapt with excitement--a present! I turned, gave a half wave, and beamed a smile. The driver smiled back, waved, then reached down to change the truck's gear as he went over the "speed hump" just past our driveway. I felt so silly! The UPS driver was just slowing down so he wouldn't damage all the fragile packages as he went over the "speed hump."

It's My Birthday Eve!

The full celebration is beginning! It will not stop until the end of the month! I'm becoming very excited about tomorrow. My birthday is always a time of rebirth for me. A time for reflecting on how I've grown and how I will continue to mature. I don't believe in astrology, but my sign is Virgo--the goddess of harvest. I reap the lessons I sow during the year at this time. On my birthday, I feel benevolent to everyone and want to spend the day in complete happiness!

I'm not positive, but I think I might be coming down with a cold. My throat feels icky, and I'm just plain tired. I'm taking all my vitamins and downing some echinacea. Hopefully I'll feel better before tomorrow.

Where should Brad take me for my birthday dinner?

Brad and I watched the news last night...it's down-right scary! I am not as informed as I should be on many of the current issues in the media. I am utilizing the Internet to research the history behind the conflicts in the Middle East. In my Rhetoric & Writing class, we are analyzing the rhetoric of 9/11. It is extremely interesting to compare writings and speeches given during the first month after the attacks to the writings and speeches being given now. I don't think we (Americans) have made much progress in understanding the real issue behind the attacks...we have responded to the violence against us, but we have not discussed the policies the terrorists have said they were fighting against. It is important to remember that the terrorists are not exemplary of mainstream Islam. I won't write about this touchy subject right now, but PLEASE become informed about current events...democracy works best when citizens are informed. To be informed, one must consult many different mediums...understanding how and why bias is formed and used. In 1782, Hector St. John de Crevecoeur wrote "What is an American?" In that piece, he states, "As citizens it is easy to imagine that [Americans] will carefully read the newspapers, enter into every political disputation, freely blame or censure governors and others." Have we done that? Are we ideal citizens?

:::coming off my soapbox now:::

I am enjoying working from home. I didn't get out of my pajamas yesterday! I have noticed that I must become more efficient with my time. My day started at 8ish, and I finished homework around midnightish. It will be necessary for me to spend more time working on homework over the weekends. I have time to write on my blog right now because one of my classes was cancelled. I don't want to spend all of my time working and going to school. If I prioritize correctly I should be able to continue working out and starting the book club.

So far, only one person has become a contributing author on our book club blog. I've heard from my other friends that they will be joining, but they just haven't gotten to it yet. My guess is that once they purchase the book and begin reading, they will join at that time. I'm really excited about discussing our book! It's something to look forward to! Plus, it'll be great to hear other people's perspectives. :O)

Well, I've written a small story already. It's amazing; I could write, and write, and write. It's just so much fun! Hope everyone has a great day!

Hi

I started working at my new job on Friday afternoon. They over-nighted a cell phone to me, and when I called to talk to them, they begged me to start right away. I did. Today will be the first full day of work. I still have a little bit of homework to do, but I'll get to it tonight.

Brad and I planted two trees this weekend: a dogwood and a flowering cherry. We're looking forward to Spring so we can see the impressive display of flowers. I'd like to get a couple evergreens to add winter interest. We're trying really hard to conserve money, so that may wait until next year.

Tennessee lost to Florida on Saturday. It was an exciting game with a bad ending!

Well, I need to get ready to start working. The area I am recruiting for is in the Central Time Zone, so I have to wait until 9ish to start working. It's going to be nice to have my mornings. On the flip side, I will have to work until a least 6:30 every day. Hopefully everything will go smoothly.

Last day

Its been glorious, but it will all come to an end on Monday. On Monday, I start my job. I think it is going to work out really well since I will be working from home. It is the ideal situation!

The weather in East Tennessee is now more than perfect. It feels and smells like September, my birthday month. It's fabulous, and I want to spend every moment I can outside. We put the screens in the windows last night (they're the old style of windows that push out so you can't leave the screens in all the time).

If you haven't watched the most recent episode of Project Runway, stop reading now. -------- Okay. Can you believe they brought Angela and Vincent back? It was definitely good television, but it must have sucked for the other designers. Michael is so nice...did you see him helping Kayne? I'm so glad Laura won; I really liked her dress...especially the fringe at the bottom. Uli has long been one of my favorites, but like the judges, I want to see something different from her. I want to see something tailored and not so breezy. Jeff has some wacky, rock-star outfits, and I want to see him design something simple and sophisticated. I think all of the designers left are wonderful. Each has a unique style. Overall, I think Michael is the most versatile and probably deserves to win. I didn't watch the first two seasons, but didn't males win both of them? Oh well, may the best designer win!

I've had positive responses to the book club from five of my friends, one no, and one that I haven't heard back from (I don't think she checks her e-mail very often). Brad might join, and our total would be six. One of my friends is going to tell two of her other friends about it since she thinks they might be interested. So, today, I'm going to write out some general guidelines. Brad doesn't think I need to do that since everyone is a friend. I probably don't need to, but it'll be fun. Plus, I'm going to make the schedule rotation for choosing books. Since I am starting the club, I think I will choose the first book and kick off our discussions. After much deliberation, we are going to read A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. It's going to be awesome, and I am so looking forward to it!!!

I'm meeting My A for lunch. I'm going to go through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru before I pick her up. We'll eat in the car on our way to the used bookstore. We're both "enablers" for each other's weakness for books. Hey, at least I consider used books now. I used to be a book snob and only read new, unmarked books that were purchased at full price. This is what I call progress.

Stapler

I won a five dollar gift certificate to Wal-Mart when I was in fifth grade. It was the award for doing something well in the computer class...maybe something to do with The Oregon Trail? Please tell me someone remembers that game. I digress. The stapler. My mom took me to Wal-Mart so I could pick out my prize. I have this major thing for school and office supplies so I spent the majority of the time perusing the pens, paper, folders, notebooks. But what I really wanted was a stapler. I could envision myself stapling packets of information together...everything would be completely organized if I only had a stapler. Alas, all of the staplers were a bit more than five bucks. I decided to use some of my allowance (an allowance of fifty cents that I earned by doing three hours worth of chores before 10 a.m. on Saturday morning--if they were not done by the time limit then I wouldn't receive the full amount). I picked out a white Bostick stapler, and I've used it ever since. I love my stapler...it has progressed beyond useful school supply that organizes my life to an object of extreme sentimentality.

I printed a two page article this morning and confidently reached for my stapler. But, it didn't staple! I was horrified! My trusty stapler! Oh! What's a girl going to do!?!? Examine it and figure out why it isn't stapling--that's what you do!

I figured out why it was malfunctioning--the tooth that separates the staple being used from the rest had become hooked on the wrong side of the staple reservoir. After quickly fixing the issue, I stapled that article together, hole-punched it (another great invention), and put it in correct chronological order with other articles I deem important. All this is made possible because of my trusty stapler.

And for those wondering, yes, I totally identify with the guy in the movie Office Space. :O)

I forgot to write about this in the previous post

I would like to start a book club. I just don't know who is interested and what forum to use.

Here are my questions:

• Are any of my friends interested in starting an online book club using a blog as our forum?
• Are any of my friends truly interested in participating in a book club?
• Are you committed to reading and discussing books?
• How will it be organized?

My suggestions/goals:

• Gather at least 3 friends to join an online book club or "real life" club
• A book is chosen once a month
• The book will be decided by the members on a rotating schedule
• The person that chooses the book that month leads the discussion
• Increase our literacy and spread the love of learning

Is anybody interested? Do any of my friends actually read this blog?

Thank goodness we're on the same network

My sister and I have recently started talking to each other a lot more than we used to. Thank goodness we're both on Cingular plans--we can talk to each other for "free." It's so nice to just call her up to chit-chat for a few minutes. We laugh and laugh.

My sister and I haven't always been close. She's always been the daughter that catered to our parent's standards. I was always the questioner of thier boundaries and authority. I didn't mind asking questions rather than simply believing my parents knew best. Yes, I was the "problem child." But, you know, the thing is I wasn't a "problem"... I would simply want to know why...why I couldn't watch a movie above a "G" rating, why I couldn't wear my hair down, why music other than hymn couldn't be joyful, why I wasn't allowed to call boys on the phone, why I couldn't watch TV. I was more well-mannered than most kids, but my parents felt that I should just accept everything they said. In the eyes of the rest of the world, I was probably a saint. I will say that I pushed the boundaries by letting my hair down once I got to school, and I would "sneak" and listen to "bad" music when I was at my friend's house. For the most part though, I was scared of being caught, and I wouldn't do much "behind their backs." My sister did way worse things than I ever did. She would put up on front to our parents, gain their trust, and then go out and party it up. At least I was staightforward in my questioning, but I still accepted most of their boundaries.

My parents would always quote Ephesians 6:1-3 to me: "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother--which is the first commandment with a promise--that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." They would scare me into thinking I wasn't long for this earth because they felt I didn't honor them. God would take me away so I wouldn't be able to sow seeds of rebellion. (I wasn't rebellious...just wanted to know why.) But, either way, I would quote the next verse right back to them (gotta love what you learn in Bible Drillers--a group that required one to commit scriptures to memory and know exactly where to find them in the Bible), Ephesians 6: 4: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

I'm learning now that God is full of love and grace...he's not out to get us. I'm really enjoying going to church, but I'm still trying to make sense of God. I'm finding that I need to re-learn who God is. And, before anyone thinks otherwise, I love my parents very much!

Now that my sister is growing up, it's easier to talk to her. She's not as closed-minded, even though she sill misrepresents herself a bit to our parents. I've had to learn not to be judgemental of her. She copes with our parents in her own way. She is old enough to make her own decisions and accept her own consequences. We're real friends now and it's nice.

Just so everyone is clear: my birthday is in ONE week ... that's SEVEN days. Are you prepared? I don't expect presents, but I do expect celebration. And by celebration I mean that you should remember me on that day and give thanks to God for letting such a great person as myself be born. I guess that means it's really a day for you to give glory to God for all my wonderfulness!!! LOL!! :O)

I have a paper due tomorrow in Persuasive Writing. I'm about done with it, but I need to polish it up. It needs to gleam. I would love to get on my bike this afternoon...I think my feet are healed enough. It's looking like rain though. So, I'll cuddle up on the couch and drink hot chocolate! Yeay!

It's a birds-beware window

We've wanted to replace the window in our kitchen for a while. It was tacky, dark, and fake stained glass look to it. We could see anything out of it. We took the window off its track Saturday night thinking that Lowe's or Home Depot would be able to replace the glass on Sunday. Neither store replaces glass in windows! So, yesterday I took the window to a specialty glass store, and the guy was very reluctant to work on it since it is a Pella window. The way they put their windows together makes it very difficult to modify them in any way. While he was talking, I noticed a place in one of the corners that the horribly fake sainted glass looked like film...like tinting. The guy said, "Yeah, you can scrape it off." When I got home, I used my nail to pull up a corner of the film. The whole sheet slowly came off!! Brad came over, and we did a little dance of joy. We didn't have to spend any money to fix the issue with our kitchen window! How wonderful is that?

It's going to be difficult to go to school and work at the same time. Even though I don't start until next Monday, it's already stressful because I am trying to get ahead on my homework. When I decided to go back to school, Brad and I talked about how I would need time to do homework and he would have to help out a bit more around the house. He seemed to understand and respect my decision. Well, now that I'm going into the third week of school, it's becoming more difficult to do schoolwork when Brad is home. This is one of the only things we're having problems with in our relationship. I agree that it is important to spend lots of time with each other, but I also need time to do some things independently. He's argument is that I should have everything done while he is at work. I get the majority of my work done during that time, but sometimes there are things I think of and want to research after he gets home. I feel like I have so much to learn, and I want to make sure I'm not short-changing what I learn in class because I don't know all rules of grammer. Once I start working next week, I will always need to do homework at night. I just don't know what to do to make both of us happy with the situation. I'm not complaining about Brad!! We love each other very much, and our relationship is great. We're just trying to work through how me going to school and working is going to work.

September 11, 2001

It's still hard to watch footage from the 9/11 attacks. Five years ago I was in my senior year of college taking a course on literary criticism. Someone came running down the hall frantically yelling that the U.S. was being attacked. The professor let us go early, and I ran to my apartment where I watched the events unfold. My friend E called because she was extremely worried about her dad--he was in a plane. She came over, and we sat in the floor watching the TV and crying. Thankfully, E's dad was all right.

Another scary thing to think about is the fact that I was in New York City less than a month before 9/11.

I'm saying a prayer for the families that tragically lost loved ones five years ago.

Tennessee Wins

Tennessee beat Air Force in a tough match. All the AF touchdowns were by rushing. Our quarterback, Ainge, did a good job passing. Go Tennessee!

I set up a study area this afternoon. We went to Sam's and purchased a 6 foot folding table that is now covered with my school books. I'm hoping it will help to have a special area. I'm not sure how much homework I will get done on the weekends. Brad and I really enjoy spending time with each other. It's difficult to say, "Hey, honey, I gotta go do my homework so I can't hang out with you." And Brad doesn't like to hear those words come out of my mouth. It's only one semester so we'll manage.

I am going to church in the morning. I visited a church two Sundays ago, and I am going to visit it again. I'm not as nervous as before, but I do feel very excited. There is an early service that I'll probably go to.

I have a lot of homework to do. Since Brad already gone to bed, I have some alone time I can use without feeling guilty for not spending time with him. I guess I should get off the computer and read.

Only 11 more days until my birthday!!!

Only 1 week until the Tennessee vs. Florida game!!!

Pertinent information

In light of what I am learning in school, I find this article from the NY Times to be extremely pertinent. Five CORPORATIONS own ninety percent of U.S. media. Something to think about.

Okay, time to do homework.....

Busy

I am preparing myself for an onslaught of work. I've agreed to work as a part-time recruiter for a national company. It will be a challenge to stay abreast of homework while working, but I think I can manage. It will require that I become focused and efficient.

I turned in my first paper yesterday. I rhetorically analyzed the speech Bush gave at the American Legion National Convention in Salt Lake City, UT, on August 31st. He states that the current War on Terror is "the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century." It was interesting to analyze a Bush speech! That's all I'll say about it. I'm thinking I will turn in the same paper in Persuasive Writing. The first paper in that class is due on Thursday.

My sister called tonight to tell me my grandfather broke his hip on Monday, and he has been in the hospital since then. He hasn't been doing too well lately. He has heart problems and severe back issues. I'm debating on whether I should go visit. My sister said he has been really mean...more than likely due to the pain medication. And not that this should make a difference, but no one called to let me know about the situation. For some reason, my family doesn't really communicate with me. I didn't know my mom was going in for a hysterectomy until the night before the surgery. I didn't know my sister was in the hospital with a complication from colitis until she had been there for 1 1/2 days. I know my parents disapprove of my lifestyle choices--namely that I live with Brad and they suspect that I drink alcohol--but I don't think that means they should exclude me from feeling like a part of our family. My grandfather is such a wonderful man, and it hurts so much to know he is in pain right now (and the pain medication is making him act loopy and mean). I'm just not sure what to do.

I'm tired...I'm going to bed. I'll try to post regularly! The one person I know that reads this blog informed me that I have been slacking. Sorry A--I hope you have fun on your cruise!!

It was a PAR-TEE, and I should've painted my toenails.

Brad and I drove to Dallas to attend his brother's wedding party. It was a lot of fun! It was held at an indoor golf place that gives you the opportunity to play at different courses throughout the world by using computer simulation. It was really neat: you go into a "booth," a ball automatically comes up on a tee, you pick the right club out of your bag, get into the golf stance, and take your shot. The ball hits a TV screen type thing, and you watch it travel down the fairway. Brad did pretty well. I tried it a few times, but I don't think I quite have the swing down. I think his brother and sister-in-law had a great time. It was a lot of fun to see family and socialize.

We took Callie, the newest member of our immediate family, with us. On Saturday morning, she escaped from Brad's mom's house. She was lost for about 3 hours, and we were all running around the neighboorhood calling her name and growing more worried by the second. Thankfully, she is microchipped and tagged with a special id number from 24 Hour Pet Watch. It turns out she was three (3!!!) houses down. The neighbors were leaving to run errands and saw her sitting under their tree. They put her in their backyard with their black lab and called the number on her tag for 24 Hour Pet Watch. 24 HPW gave them our contact information. Of course, we didn't find out her location until I ran all over the neighboorhood for 3 hours in my Chacos. I have flat feet, and when I run, I need to wear special shoes, not sandals. I ended up with huge, painful blisters where the arch should be. I had planned to paint my toenails but never got around to doing it. If I had known so much attention would be directed at my feet, I would have painted them! :o) They still hurt, and I'm trying to stay off them as much as possible.

School is really busy right now. I don't think I've written about this yet: I dropped Writing, Layout & Production of Technical Documents and added Persuasive Writing, a class I have been interested in taking since seeing the course textbooks at the University Bookstore. Over the weekend, I had to make up for 3 missed classes. It's worth it. I love the subject matter, and I really hope it helps improve my writing style and ability to critically read documents and articles. My first paper is due Thursday; tomorrow is going to be a busy day!

Well, I need to get to bed. When Brad came home from work this afternoon, we took a 2 hour nap. We're exhausted from all the driving we did over the weekend. Tomorrow I'll respond to e-mails I received while away.

It's football time in Tennessee!

The Tennessee football team is currently ranked number ten. I have a funny feeling I will be into football this season. My interest comes in spurts. There is something really exciting about Tennessee football...I remember going to a game when I was in high school, and while we were walking to the stadium, everyone started to clap and chant, "It's great...(clap, clap)...to be...(clap, clap)...a Tennessee Vol; I said it's great...(clap, clap)...to be...(clap, clap)...a Tennessee Vol." And not many things move me and stir my emotions like "Rocky Top." At times, it can take me to the point of tears. And I can't think of anyone I'd rather be cheering with than my friend E. When we were in junior high, we went to a rainy game together. We sat in the bleachers cheering with our orange and white pom-poms. There was a bald man sitting front of us and occasionally a droplet of water from our pom-poms would fall onto his head. The water must have been magical because it looked like his hair was growing back. We decided the pom-poms were giving off Miracle-gro for hair. We went to town with frantic cheers...that man would have a new set of hair by the time we were done! Ahhh...memories of youth.

I am going to attempt to complete all my homework for the next week so I won't have any to do over the weekend--it's Laber Day! This means I need to go to the store to buy a new ink cartridge for the printer.

Multi-tasking

After I got home from school and Brad got home from his business trip, we decided to unwind by playing a game of pool. But, there was vacuuming to be done! So while one took a turn playing, the other vacuumed. We rotated tasks throughout the game. :o)

What did I learn in school today? A gerund indicates that the noun should be singular.

What else did I learn? One of my professors likes to randomly call on people, and I have him for two--out of three--classes! My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating. I'm pretty sure my voice didn't shake when he called on me, but I'm not positive.

Today is my friend's birthday! Unfortunately, she lives in California so we're not celebrating tonight. She will be in town in September, and we'll celebrate both of our birthdays then. By the way, my birthday is September 20th, and I will probably be talking about it at the beginning of my birthday month on September 1st. Oh, wait, it's August 29th, and I'm already talking about it. :o)

Finally! Blogger is letting me upload photos. Yeay! I'm posting a few from our trip to Cozumel. I'll post other pictures when I have more energy. Right now, I'm pretty tired, and I want to read some of my book, Blue Like Jazz.

In the above photograph, we are standing along the seaside cliff at Tulum. I didn't realize I was that much shorter than Brad.

Brad and I went on a date to Pepe's Grill. I made my dress.

We're standing in front of a Mayan ruin at Tulum.

Amusing

Who would think this is a good idea?

He is a butt dog

It cracks us up! Chance is a butt dog! He sticks his behind in Callie's face hoping to distract her while they are wrestling. It is so funny. He just maneuvers around so that his hieny is always the first defense. He uses it offensively too. Callie has picked up on his tactic and throws her butt around now too. It's hilarious to watch. I'll try to get a video of it sometime and post it here.

After completing my homework for tomorrow's classes, I went to the gym to workout. I did cardio for about 30 minutes (should have done it longer) and then started lifting weights. Okay, I've never really gone to a gym before, nor have I been given more than a cursory orientation on how to use/do/lift weights. It started out well but all of a sudden I just felt so conscious of all the people around me...and some them were glancing at me. I shouldn't have panicked, but I was afraid I was doing it wrong ,or they were looking at me because I wasn't lifting much. It was overwhelming and I just couldn't stay and do a complete set/round/whatever. I grabbed my phone, looked at my watch as if I were running late for a very important date, and left the gym while dialing numbers to make it look like I was calling the Queen of Wonderland. Of course, when I got home I felt really awful about leaving in a rush. I shouldn't have assumed that people were looking at me like didn't know what I was doing, because if I were to be caught looking around, it would be because I wanted to see how to use that machine if I thought the person using it knew what they were doing. I just get so hyper-conscious and start to triple guess myself.

Tomorrow is the second day of classes. It's the day you find out what class is really going to be like. I'm not too nervous, but I really hope I don't have any professors that like to randomly call on students. It's just not cool. One time in high school, an English teacher had us write something and then called on people to share what they wrote in front of the entire class. She picked me to share. I turned, looked at her, and said, "I'd rather not." Didn't work; I shared what I wrote. Luckily, in college, most literature professors read your writings and don't require oral presentations. And, yes, the lack of public speaking and group projects is one of the main reasons I chose to major in English literature.

It's no wonder

No wonder Chance doesn't like children--they throw rocks at him! I heard Chance and Callie barking last night and when I looked out the window, some kids were throwing rocks at them! I hate to say this but if those kids ever get near him, vengeance will be his. In my warped sense of thinking I understand my babies better than anyone, I'm almost positive Chance was also defending me from the aggressive children. And you know, I love how protective he is, especially with my current schedule. He was a stray we found on the side of the road and there is no telling what may have happened to him in his previous life. We are pretty positive he was abused but we're positive he now knows what it means to be loved.

And let me clear up a misconception many people have about me. I don't hate children; I am stressed out by children and I do not like to be stressed. In most cases, I despise the parents and would rather not be around their misbehaving, whining kids. It is usually not the kid's fault as they do not know, or understand, how to act. I really enjoy being around nice, well-behaved children that understand the word no. I think one of the most disturbing trends in parenting today is a reliance on others to explain boundaries--daycares, teachers, tv, etc. Many parents are not active participants in disciplining their children, and this ambivalence creates a monster of a child that doesn't understand leadership or authority, not to mention morals.

Finally on the bike again!

I finally got to ride my bike for the first time in two weeks. The first week we were in Cozumel, and this past week has just been hectic with school and a few other things. It felt really good to be back in the saddle though I must admit I was a bit timid. One of the most difficult things about learning to cycle is learning how to use "clipless" pedals. I fell over so many times during the first week of learning how to attach and unattach myself. So as I climbed on Layla Clementine (yes, my bike has a name) this morning, I was nervous that I might have forgotten how to use my pedals (Speedplay X5). It was just like learning to ride a bike; once you learn you never forget.

We rode 45 miles and I felt it in my lungs. My muscles aren't to sore but I feel like I was on the verge of gasping for air during portions of the route. If I am unable to ride this week, I will make sure to really hit the cardio machines at the gym. I'm thinking of trying a spin class. They definitely improved the performance of one of our biking friends.

Brad is sick. Last night he had a temperature of 100.3 (that used to be one of the best radio stations in Knoxville--100.3, The River--but it is no longer in existance) and although it went back to normal this afternoon, it is slowly climbing back up. His current reading is 99.8. We were hoping it would be one of those 24 hour bugs, but I guess it might not be. He wants protein for supper so I just got back from Kroger were I purchased two top sirloin steaks. I'm going to use the George Foreman to grill them to a perfect medium rare. We'll probably watch a movie downstairs so Brad can rest.

Here is a difference for you...

It is Friday night and I have washed dishes, done the laundry, fixed dinner, and relaxed. A typical Friday night when I previously enrolled at UT would have gone something more like this: sprint to my car after class to head to the mall where I would purchase the latest fashion item, high-tail it home when the mall closed to scarf down a meager dinner that usually consisted of a can of green beans, start assembling different outfits while waiting for my friends to arrive, join in the debate over what type of look my friends and I would go with that night, down a couple of shots to take the edge off since we usually didn't drink when "clubbing," and then we would finally arrive at the club dressed to impress but were too insecure to talk to anyone that had the balls to approach us. Oh, the memories.

First day of school!

What a wonderful day! I was right in the fact that I was one of the oldest students in my classes but I didn't feel out of place. On Thursday night, I was worried about the "first day outfit" but chose to go with the standard jeans and t-shirt and I fit right in. Most people still wear either blue jeans, a black skirt or something so totally funky that no one could ever hope to recreate their style. One of the biggest things I noticed was how comfortable I've become with my body. The last time I was at UT (1998-2002) I was very conscious of the way my body looked and moved. I wasn't confident or comfortable and tried to compensate with expensive clothes. Now, I love who I've become both physically and mentally. It is really nice to know that I'm finally realizing how to value what is inside a person without focusing on the physical.

My classes are: Rhetoric & Writing, Technical Editing, and Writing and Designing Layouts for Tehcnical Documents. It is going to be my favorite sememster ever! I can't believe I have the opportunity to return to school and gain knowledge in what I love the most: words--their power and how to build things with them. It's awesome! My professors are wonderful--scatter-brained and zany. I think one of them will be an excellent resource when it is time for me to enter the job market. Part of the Writing and Designing Layouts for Technical Documents class includes real clients coming in with real issues for us to address. What better way to network?

This morning marks the last free training session at the gym. We went last night and did some cardio and weights. Brad is sore and I feel great. They have this ab machine that does a great job targeting all the core muscles.

This is a little gross but I'm always very concerned with my bowel movements. When we were in Cozumel, I felt constipated most of the time. It was difficult to "go." I attribute that to a lack of variety, not to mention fiber, in the diet. Now that we have been back in Knoxville, I am regular again. It's great. Didn't mean to disturb you but it's one of those things that I like to track. Brad's younger brother learned a great rule of thumb from a fellow hiker on the Appalachian Trail: to be considered "regular" you should go somewhere between 5 times in 7 days or 7 times in 5 days. Since learning that I try to make sure I fall somewhere in that equation. :O)

Okay, I need to go get ready to hit the gym! I'll try to write more later to make up for the fact that I didn't write anything on Wednesday or Thursday. 'Cause that is what you want, right? :O)

Feel the burn

Brad and I decided it was time to join a gym and last night we did just that. We got a good deal that includes the traditional weights and cardio equipment and also a pool, climbing wall and all the classes you can imagine. I'm really excited and looking forward to going on a regular basis. They offer 3 free training sessions/orientations when you join and this morning I took the second session that focused on core stengthening. I really liked the trainer that took me through everything...he knew what he was talking about. I need to focus a lot of attention on my posture and keeping my shoulders down and lats back. There is a tendencey for me to roll them forward. I've always been somewhat self-concious of my posture but never really knew how to stengthen the muscles so it wouldn't hurt to "hold 'em back" as my mom would always say.

They took our body fat measurements too. I fall in the "athlete" category at 19%. I used to be 12% so I have a lot of work cut out for me. It is not that I want to lose weight. I just want to lose fat and become stronger. Women should have a minimum of 10-12% and I'd like to be right there. There is this show that comes on after Project Runway about a female trainer that is at 3% body fat. I've never watched it but I can't help but wonder how and why she got so low. Brad and I decided we would be making a lifestyle change with our diet. No more "bad" sugars (minus the ones in beer, wine and Kahlua in milk) and we're going to try to eat proteins at night and carbs in the mornings. In general, we're going to be more concious of what we put into our bodies.

School starts on Thursday and I am so excited! It's going to be awesome and I am going to learn so much. There is something about writing...any kind of writing...that I just enjoy. In high school people thought I was weird for many reasons but mostly because I enjoyed writing reports. It was fun to organize thoughts and facts. It is easier for me to express myself through non-verbal means. The meaning of my name according to the Kalabrian Philosophy is:

Although the name Vanae creates an interest in the deeper aspects of life, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the heart, lungs and bronchial area. The name of Vanae gives you a clever, quick, analytical mind, but you suffer with a great deal of self-consciousness, lack of confidence, and much aloneness because of misunderstandings. Your idealistic and sensitive nature gives you a deep appreciation for the finer things of life and a strong desire to be of service to humanity. There are times when you experience inner turbulence at your inability to say what you mean. It is far easier for you to express your deeper thoughts and feelings through writing than verbally. You find pleasure in literature, in poetry, and in your ideals and will turn to them when you feel you have been misunderstood. You are deeply moved by the beauties of life, especially nature.

So interesting 'cause it is right on.

Well, I should probably get off the computer for now. I have a hair appointment at noon and I need to make a decision on what I want to have done. I'll probably leave it long enough to pull into a pony tail but sometimes I think the longer it is the "stragglier" it can look. Even though I have a head full of hair, it is so fine that sometimes it just doesn't look like much. I need to ask the stylist what he thinks I should do with it...they are usually pretty honest. In preparation for fall, I think I'll have lowlights put in and begin the transistion back to my natural color. I used to be so blond but as I got older, it just started to get so much darker. When Brad and I first started dating, I dyed it black but that really did nothing for my complexion. All my old co-workers thought the blond really opens my face up. So, that's where I'm at for the moment--undecided!

Cozumel

I'm not sure where to start! How about with: we're back!

We left last Saturday and drove down to my parents house where we got to visit with them for one night. The next morning when they left for church we left for the airport. It didn't take very long to get through security. I think that is partly due to the fact that there were not that many people with carry on luggage. It always annoyed me when people would bring a suitcase as a carry on and attempt to cram it into the overhead bins. It was easy to put my small backpack into the bin and not be afraid it would get squished. We got to Cozumel and headed off to the hotel to meet Brad's bro, dad and the family of his dad's girlfriend.

The first night went pretty well. We walked to the downtown square and ate at the smallest Hard Rock Cafe. We went back to the square to have a margarita and watch a band. Although the margaritas were awful and overpriced, Brad and I had fun talking with his dad. At that time, the girlfriend and her family were taking T to the doctor due to a bladder infection so we were alone. When we got back to the hotel, Brad and his brother, E, drank some of the "ameoba water" from the faucet since we didn't have purified water. We laughed and laughed and laughed about that. Brad drank three bottles of it! Thankfully, they were both fine! :O)

The next day, we went out and did a shore dive to test out the equipment. In the afternoon, we discovered that the alley outside the hotel that had seemed deserted on Sunday came alive during the week. There were shops and it was full of beautiful bright and bold colors. The colors are so vibrant there. We also found out that the hotel had a pool bar right outside. We consumed some of the best margaritas in that pool. And we consumed a lot of them. :o) Brad and I negotiated for a hammock before we all ate at Casa Bravo for dinner.

Tuesday morning marked the start of scuba diving. Our divemaster, David, was really good. I wasn't able to overcome fear of my ears and so I didn't actually dive this trip but I snorkeled over everyone the entire time. For the most part, I was able to see everything they saw. We dove Tuesday through Friday morning. We saw a lot of neat coral formations and lots of marine life. Aruba had a lot of wreck diving but Cozumel was diving natural formations. According to the dad, a lot of damage had been done to the reefs since the hurricanes but it was still georgeous! My favorite marine animals are the sting ray and sea turtle. I don't think any of us had seen as many sea turtles as we saw this past week. During the night dive on Thursday, we saw the largest turtle I've ever seen in my entire life. It was huge! Probably 5-6 feet!! I thought it was a coral formation until the lights shone on it. It was impressive and quite amazing. We also got to see an octupus during the night dive--that was cool.

I took Dramaine for all the boat rides during the week except for Friday. I felt sick until I got in the water and stayed there. But, on Saturday, we took the ferry over to the mainland to visit Playa del Carmen. I felt so horrible and nauseaous. It was actually kinda funny except that it felt like I was still on the boat even after being on land for a few hours. Once we were on the mainland, the dad decided it would be cost effective to visit a timeshare place to get a free meal and then have a free driver for the afternoon so we could visit Tulum, some Mayan ruins--which was something I really wanted to do. The kids (youngest being 21) hung out by the pool while the dad and his girlfriend were hasseled to buy a timeshare. Of course, they didn't but we still got our free driver. So, off we went to visit Tulum.

Tulum was so impressive. Ruins are so fascinating and the whole time we were there I could just imagine another culture conducting their daily life. They couldn't have picked a better location for their home...the "city" was right on a cliff that overlooked one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen. It was amazing. I don't know what else to say...it's one of those places you feel.

Brad took me on a date Friday evening. We ate at Pepe's Grill. It was worth every penny just for the salad bar and veggies. We were craving some greens. Most of the meals consisted of some variation of meat, cheese, tortilla and some beans. We will be having tofu with veggies for dinner tonight! Some of the people we travelled with were somewhat picky about eating local cusine so many of the meals were at McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Carlos and Charlies, etc. McDonalds is not "fast" food in Cozumel. It was funny because we would order and then wait for like 10-15 minutes for our food.

We got back in last night and it was so wonderful to flush toilet paper down the toilet. In Mexico, you have to put the dirty toilet paper in the trash can next to the commode. This morning, the first thing I did was go pick up the babies from the vet. I don't think I have ever been greeted so warmly...they are incredibly happy to be home and I don't blame them! We're happy too! It was so wonderful to sleep in our big bed (we had a full there) and smell our house. Of course, I noticed a funky smell in the kitchen when we walked in and we tried to locate the source. We sniffed everywhere and then realized it was coming from the potatoes in the cabinet! I didn't know they would go bad so quickly! It was funny.

This morning, I have unpacked, started a load of laundry and am trying to get back into the swing of things. School starts soon and I'm ready! It was so wonderful to have this vacation.

It was weird to go on vacation with Brad's dad and the family of his dad's girlfriend. Brad and his brother were uncomfortable watching their dad interact with the "other" family. And that is what it felt like...he was hanging out with his new family. They were nice enough but it definitely brought some feelings to the surface.

I'm going to post some pictures from the trip below.

Well, it won't let me load pictures right now so I'll try to add them later.

Faithful blog readers

Hello, faithful blog reader(s),

It is time to....vacation! I will not be posting for the next week unless we have free internet connection at the hotel. There will be plenty to post about after we return and many pictures to share! See ya in one week! Have fun!

Ouch!

I just paid the minimum fee amount for my classes this fall (there's no need to pay it all since interest doesn't accure on the balance due and my money can stay in the bank and earn interest until the remaining amount must be paid) and may I just say, "Ouchie! I'd better learn a lot!"

Bummed!

Brad and I will probably not be doing the 125 mile ride I was so excited about! The weather forecast is calling for thunderstorms and it just wouldn't be safe for us to be out there. I was so looking forward to completing 125 miles and I can't even convey how bummed I am that we aren't going to be doing it. On the bright side (it's important to always find one), not riding will make our travel plans easier and be nicer on our budget (though the entry fee is only $30, which is really good for a fully supported ride). We will have to look for other 125 mile rides because I want to complete one before the end of this season. That is my goal.

The airline scare in London is very unnerving. I am so glad they were able to thwart the terrorist plans. It's a scary world and I am a bit apprehensive about getting on the plane on Sunday. I know it will be alright and if it is not, then there will be nothing I can do about it. Maybe I'll take one of my panic attack preventor pills. I've only had to take 3 1/2 of them but I just don't want to freak out. My body goes completely numb and I can't move, almost like I am paralyzed. Of course, that freaks me out even more...and then I can't breathe.

I love to fly...looking out the window at the cities, farmland, bodies of water. It is so exhilarating and exciting...every time. My friend's husband is a pilot and he says he feels that way every time he takes off and lands--it never gets old. And, I love airports! The busy hum and the feeling of being between adventures. It's a fun place to people watch as long as there aren't too many people. When we were going from Aruba to San Diego, we stopped in Miami and dear me, I've never seen so many people in such tight quarters. They're renovating the Miami airport and I hope they complete it soon because it's not a good set up right now. One of my favorite places to have a layover is Chicago. Everytime we layover there Brad and I eat at this particular Chili's. It is always a good time and I always get the southwestern egg rolls. Yum yum.

My plans for the day are: 1. go to UTK to get books for upcoming classes 2. get eyebrows done 3. meet A and A for lunch 4. exercise (since we're not doing the 125 mile ride) 5. finish the dress I started last night 6. make packing list 7. start packing

When you know

You know you've picked the wrong skirt pattern when the elderly lady checking you out says, "That's a cute skirt! I bet it would be easy to get out of the car in it!" I so wish I could have responded by saying, "Yeah, I know, that is why I choose this particular design."

I'd had my eye on a Simplicity skirt pattern but was waiting until Hancock Fabrics or JoAnn's put it on sale. The Simplicity patterns are $1.99 at Hancock Fabrics right now. I'm still going to make it but I'll make sure I use young, hip and modern fabric. :O)

Sister gets the bling-bling

My sister is engaged! She called last night to tell me that B proposed. He took my dad out to lunch to have "the talk" and then he met my sister at her school (she's a teacher). They went to the park where they often go and he asks her to marry him. I'm excited for her! Her ring is a 1 caret princess cut solitaire--exactly what she wanted. I'm sure it's georgeous. She says they might get married this upcoming summer or they might wait a little later.

Brad kept asking me if I am really happy for her or if there is a twinge of jealousy. I am extremely happy for her and there is a twinge of, not jealousy, but almost sadness. I mean, my baby sister (4 years younger than me) is engaged! She's all growed up! She said that mom made them cookies and took lots of photographs of them. During the lunch discussion between Da (my name for my dad) and B, Da asked two things: 1. love her and therefore respect their marriage 2. take her to church.

On a different note, I've basically finished my dress...I just need to hem it. It turned out much better than I thought it might and I am very pleased with the fit. The hardest part, as always, was putting in the zipper. This time I used an invisible zipper and I really like the way it lays and looks. I'm going to cut out a top and a skirt and see if I can get them done today. The top looks pretty easy but you never know!

It sounds like the coffee is done. I'm going to get a cup, take it downstairs and watch Project Runway. It's a show all about what I want to do! If you haven't see it and are interested in sewing and/or designing clothes, don't watch it because you will be hooked!

Reading

I like to read in the bathroom. After spending much of my adolescent life in the bathroom sneaking to read books deemed inappropriate, I suppose it has become a natural thing to do? My parents thought I had a "problem" with "going." Nope, just liked to read. I suppose that is one of the reasons I choose to major in English Lit; I would be required to read and read all the time. The freedom to scan my eyes over pages and say, "Sorry, Mom. I have to read this book for class." (To her horror, it wasn't a how-to on classy behavior.) But, I digress (I could go off on tangets forever...there is just so much to communicate!).

As I said, I like to read in the bathroom. But now that I don't have to sneak the books in there with me (stuffed down the back of my pants with a big t-shirt covering it), I like to leave them sitting on the back of the commode. It's also best to have books with quick parts you can read...like, for example, one of my favorite books in the bathroom, is the dictionary. It's fun to expand your vocabulary even though you can't really drop them in conversation because other people don't expand their vocabs and don't understand what you are trying to say. I just rotated out Book of Haikus by Jack Kerouac and Tao Te Ching to put Women's Studies: Essential Readings in there. It's a collection of excerpts from influential women writers.

I was reading an excerpt entitled "Solving Problems and Airing Feelings" by Penny Mansfield and Jean Collard in the chapter on "Marriage and Motherhood". In this reading, they state (emphasis theirs), "Most (though not all) men seek a life in common with their wives, a home life, a physical and psychological base; somewhere and someone to set out from and return to. But, for nearly all the wives, their desired marriage was a common life with an empathic partner, who was to provide both material and emotional security. Women wanted a close exchange of intimacy which would make them feel valued as a person, not just a wife" (194). I just find this statement to be very interesting and true and I like the way they put it. It is so interesting how psychology and literature can be so very similar and influence each other. During undergrad, I always found it appropriate to consult psychology books to not only understand the characters in novels but the writer...the motivation and reason for writing. There are so many ways of looking at one novel and its author: as a work that stands alone or as a reflection of culture and the author's life experiences. It is so much fun to read!

The dogs, Chance and Callie, have been playing together all morning. It's so nice! I made pancakes for breakfast and ate them with the dogs outside while drinking my coffee. This day has started out well! I don't plan to clean much today but enjoy being creative by finishing the dress and making other things (don't know what yet). It's going to be a good one.

Second Lone Outing

I took my second lone bike ride today on the same route I took my first--Foothills Parkway Over and Back. It was a gorgeous morning with the trees shading the road. It was a little hot and I downed a lot of water and Gatorade but it wasn't sticky. There weren't as many cars and motorcycles out there with me today. That was nice! Although, I will say, on the way to the start of the Parkway, I was riding in the right lane (on a four lane rode--two lanes on each side--with a median of grass) and a truck went whizzing by me IN THE RIGHT LANE! There was no reason for him not to get into the left lane--there were no cars in sight! That unnerved me a little bit but as soon as I started the climb up the Parkway, I got into my zone.

I think that if I were a Buddhist in search of nirvana, it wouldn't be in stillness and meditation. It would be found by physically pushing myself and in doing so, tuning out the rest of the world...the expectations and pressures. Knowing that after working so hard to get to the top, the greatest reward awaits on the other side...the downhill, or the finish of the ride, and a sense of accomplishment! How wonderful is that? As I was coming up the "other" side of the Parkway, I felt the ghosts of rides past. The little old lady with her window rolled down, hands out clapping and yelling, "Good for you! Good for you!" It makes you want to ride and not stop! Ever!

I think I will feel the ride today...my gluteus maximus is a little sore! I will probably work on the dress I am making and possibly do a little work on the quilt. At some point, I will dust more blinds (I was only able to do 4 of them yesterday. I'm highly allergic to dust and I felt the back of my throat tickling so I stopped. I don't think they have been dusted before! I'm putting them on my cleaning rotation schedule.) and vacuum. Brad doesn't know what time he will be getting home so I'm thinking of making something simple and that can be thrown together in 30 minutes from the time he calls to tell me he is on his way.

Found the limit

I found the limit of my sewing machine--vinyl. I had planned to make a beach bag out of white vinyl and a red polka dotted liner. It would be cute and water and sand resistant...my book and towel would be safe. It was to be fashioned after the "fluid box" type I've made a few times, only bigger.

Like the one I made as a baby bag for C's friend (you can see the quilt I'm working on in the lower left corner--it's my first one so it's not that great but I like it):













I guess I'll have to rethink how I can possibly make this beach bag still. Ummmm.

Supper tonight is going to be BBQ beef tips over rice with a corn and pea medley on the side. Brad has a lot of projects with a due with a deadline of Friday of this week so I got him some chocolate chip cookies! I'm going to make them after dinner so they will be warm!

Great

Callie just ate my other pair of Chacos (the red ones with the toe strap) while I was writing about her eating my favorite pair! I feel like crying! I don't know what shoes I'll wear now because those are the only two pairs of shoes I have worn for the past few months! We went through the house to made sure there is nothing else of value within reach of her gnawing teeth.

I finished cleaning Brad's bathroom...here's the agenda for the afternoon:
1. clean my bathroom
2. clean the master bath
3. finish dusting the blinds
4. dust/polish the furniture
5. clean kitchen counters
6. work on quilt
7. work on beach bag
8. prepare dinner so it will be ready when Brad gets home
9. fold laundry that has already been washed
10. start load of biking clothes in the wash and then hang to dry
11. water plants
12. relax

Uh-oh

Callie has finally done something bad! She ate my favorite pair of shoes--my Chacos! Only two weeks ago I made the following statement to Brad, "If I had to choose only one pair of shoes to wear for the rest of my life, I would wear my Chacos and be happy." They are awesome! I have two pairs...one has a toe strap and the other pair doesn't. She ate the pair that doesn't have the toe strap...and they are my favorite ones (you can wear them with socks when you're hiking). I'm going to send them in to Chaco to be "rewebbed" but they won't be back in time to go to the beach with me! Oh well! I would buy another pair but they're kinda expensive for my budget right now and plus, these are still in great condition despite involuntarily being made into a chew toy.

Weekend

What a great weekend! On Friday, Brad and I went to the drive-in to see Talladega Nights with our friends, D and K. It was pretty funny--"I like the Christmas Jesus best" and "Boy, I'm going to stick you in the microwave" were side-splitters!

Saturday morning Brad actually slept in later than me! I made pancakes and then Brad mowed the lawn. I worked on the quilt and cut out the material for the beach bag I'm making. We went to Blockbuster and rented three movies (they have a deal going right now were you can rent any three movies for $9.99): Failure to Launch, Syriana and Waiting. Failure to Launch was a cute movie and Syriana was a little difficult to follow since we don't know much about the goings on in the Middle East. We haven't watched Waiting yet.

Yesterday, in anticipation for the 125 mile ride coming up next weekend, we rode 90 miles. It was so hot and a lot of the stores/gas stations were closed since it was Sunday. Brad got heat exhaustion and his right knee was hurting him pretty badly. It's been hurting him since we ran the Knoxville Half Marathon during our training for the full marathon. So, around mile 65, I hung back and went slowly and tried to pull him in by letting him draft off me. That worked pretty well. I felt pretty good after the ride and am really looking forward to doing the 125 next weekend. When we got home, I made dinner and did some cleaning around the house while Brad re-cooped in front of the TV. I found a new book to read, The Known World, by Edward P. Jones. It's really good so far. So, I read that for a while before hitting the sack. For the first time in a few days, I slept really well.

Today, I am going to clean the house (already did the dishes) and then work on the beach bag and quilt. It's going to be exciting! At some point, I need to make a trip to UTK to get the books I'll need for the upcoming semester! I'm so excited!

Callie goes to the vet

Callie and I just returned from her first vet appointment. It was a little weird to be walk into the vet's office after Cadie passed away there but Dr. M was thrilled to meet Callie and happy that we saved another life. She gave me a hug as soon as she walked into the examination room. She was so nice and kept telling Callie how fortunate she is to have a home with us. Callie received her rabies shot and a couple of the other annuals she needed. She is stocked up on HeartGard and Frontline. Dr. M thinks Callie is a flat-coated retriever/border collie mix and just so sweet. Callie received a clean bill of health and is good to go!

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Okay, so, I finished a book on Wednesday night and decided to start a new one last night. I went to our bookshelf and combed through the books I haven't read. I picked up Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides, the guy that wrote The Virgin Suicides (I haven't read that book either). I bought the book over a year ago and because I thought it looked interesting and plus, it won the Pulitzer Prize. It's about a hermaphrodite that was born a female but at puberty became a male. I thought it would be an interesting read but now that I've started it, I don't think I'm going to finish it. I never thought the day would come that I would not finish a book I started. There were so many novels I read in college that I didn't enjoy but appreciated reading after going over them in class. But, I don't think I can do that anymore--life's to short to waste it curled up with a book you don't enjoy and just grosses you out. Maybe the reason I read is different now? Middlesex traces the history of a family and shows how the recessive gene for hermaphrodity came to be physically expressed in the narrator of the story. I thought the novel was going to be about the struggles of being a hermaphrodite and the challenges she/he was forced to take on. Wrong. It's the about a family with a history of incest and dysfunction. I just don't want to read about that no matter how well written the novel is. And the novel is extremely well written. I just can't do it. Can't. I'm going to read something else. I'll let you know what latter (after I've picked it out).

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Brad and I are going to the drive-in movie theatre to see Talladega Nights starring Will Ferrell. He is so one of my favorite actors. I love comedies and there is something about the way he delivers his lines. It's just great and I can't wait! We'll probably flask it...I mean, c'mon, we're going to a drive-in in Tennessee to see a movie about Nascar! It's going to be fun!

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I'm going to meet my old co-workers for lunch. We have a standing lunch date on Fridays. It's a lot of fun to catch up with them and know that I don't have to return to work afterwards. I do miss the friends I made and would see everyday. But we do a pretty good job staying in contact!

Pictures from date

Here, we are being laughing hyenas:


And, here, we are doing the "thinking man" pose:



We were being silly and doing different poses for the camera. My grandmother is somewhat to blame for my fascination with photography and fashion. During the summer, my sister and I would go stay with her for a week. She would let us raid her closet to put together outfits and then she would give us each a disposable camera so we could create our own "Glamour Shots"--do you remember those? We had free rein to her make-up and jewelry too. That was so much fun and I'll never forget how she would smile and encourage us to be creative and express ourselves. I wish I still had some of those photos but alas, my parents were horrified and threw them away.

Make-up

I finally ran out of the bottle of foundation I bought over 4 years ago! That is how infrequently I wear make-up. I used the last of it last Friday when Brad took me on a date. (They just opened a resturant called Abuelos in the Pinnacle section of Turkey Creek. There is an Abuelos in Dallas and Brad said it was really good food and he wanted to take me there. Unfortunately, the wait was about 1 hour and we were s-t-a-r-v-i-n-g. We went to Olive Garden instead. It was good too!) So, I need to get some more fountation in case we go on another date soon! Plus, I'm trying to make an effort to look nice. Brad says I don't need make-up (and I don't want to create wrinkles by wearing out the delicate eye area) but it is a lot of fun to put on. I used to wear it all the time...but I tend to like the theatrical make-up looks so they aren't always daytime friendly. One of my favorite brands is MAC Cosmetics but I think I'm going to try Aveda this time. I like their philosophy of blending nature and science. I've been using their cleansing line for about 2-3 months and it seems to be working well with my skin type. I like the naturalness they promote...less glamour and more pretty. I am meeting my friend for lunch so I'm going to stop by the Aveda store to check out the make-up section (only getting foundation).