Ho Hum!

I feel like I have a little bit of breathing time right now. I only have three more papers left to write for this semester and one technical document to edit. Yeah! Although I have a paper due this Tuesday, I'm not stressed out by it. It'll get done. The GRE exam is somewhat on my mind. I really need to get a move on studying for it. I just need to get through to the end of the semester and everything will be fine. Work is like this constant dread...I have to stay at the "office"/computer all day in case something needs to be done. It's pointless really, but at least they're paying for me to sit here! :O) I'm nervous about applying to grad school...what happens if I don't get in (because I probably won't)? I need to talk to my professors to see what they have to say; I'll have to figure out when their office hours are.

I'm reading Anna Karenina right now, and it is quite absorbing and interesting. :O)

Okay, I thought I had time to chat, but I don't. I need to get some stuff done around the house.

Updating

First off, everything is great with Brad and I again. We went through a rough patch, but everything is back to normal. We understand the boundaries of acceptable behavior and inexcusable reactions. I think our relationship had become stagnant for a while and any reaction is needed to wake us up to the reality of our love. I don't want to say that we become complacent, but essentially, that is what is was.

Did everyone vote yesterday?

I made another 100% on a paper! This one was on the rhetoric of gender. I limited my discussion to positive images, because, for one thing, I don't buy the "glossies" because they do influence me. I clarified that point during the first part of my paper. Yeay!

It's a rainy day, but I'm enjoying it. There is something about a rainy, fall day. I feel so warm and snugly in my house. :o)

I'd better get to work. I'll write again soon!

I don't know

I'm not sure what to think of the relationship I'm in with Brad. I know one thing: it isn't necessarily a good thing. He doesn't support me and just gets mad at me if something doesn't go according to his schedule (yes, he is the one that thinks he is "spontaneous" and "flexible"). For example, I went to lunch with my friend, R, yesterday. It was great to see her and to catch up on everything. It was so much fun! We laughed and laughed about "Neuticles" (the ball implants for pets), and time passed without us realizing it. I looked down at my watch and saw that it was 5:00! I took R home and hurried home. I knew me being out so late wouldn't sit well with Brad. He's very particular. When I got home, he went off on me because I made us miss the spin class. I didn't apologize; I didn't do anything wrong. I just don't feel like I made us miss the spin class; he could have gone without me! So, I asked him if he was ready to go workout, and he went off about how I was selfish and critical of him. I really have no clue where that came from. He muttered some things about me under his breath, but I didn't say anything. He got ready to workout and just left while I was changing into my workout clothes. I drove over in a separate car because I wanted to work out. After doing a bit of cardio, I asked him for the workout schedule. He offered to show me which exercises I needed to do, which was nice. One of the exercises I wasn't sure how to do it even after he explained it to me. He goes, "Are you stupid or something? What the fu*k don't you understand?" I just turned and walked away; I don't need to listen to him talk to me like that!! While I was doing one of the exercises, he came over and asked me if I had anything to drink with R. I had 2 beers over the course of 4 hours. He asked me who else was there. There wasn't anyone else there. He kept prodding asking questions obviously believing that it wasn't just R and me. I sick of this! I really don't know if I can take much more of his attitude towards me. It sucks! I have no idea what I did to deserve this treatment. For a while, I thought it was something I did, or that I somehow offended him. But, you know, I think he has some control or emotional issues. . . something. I'm not going to allow him to take me down. . . or make me feel bad about myself. I've had abusive boyfriends in the past (one broke my hand), and I don't want to be in one again. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe I'm the one that has a problem? I can't imagine what it is but maybe I did something to trigger this anger in him? I really don't know. I do know that it is hurting me, and I don't feel like he really wants me to be happy. He never asked how R is doing, or stating that he was glad I had fun with a friend. He could have handled the situation so much differently than the way he choose to. I'm just hurting inside, and I can't turn to him because he is the one that is hurting me.

Missed them!

We didn't have any trick-or-treaters last night. Oh, yes, they were swarming all over the neighborhood, but we didn't turn any of our lights on and we stayed in the basement. :O) We went to work out around 5:30 and didn't leave the gym until about 7:30ish. We did a spin class with an instructor we haven't had before. It was a dude that totally kicked ass! He pushed us to our limits. It was awesome. I am so not an anti-female person, but I really think the female spin instructors don't push you to improve. When they say, "If you're comfortable, turn up your resistance a little," he said, "It is human nature to set the limits for the body when it starts to feel uncomfortable--you can always push yourself harder--you are capable of doing more. DIAL UP YOUR RESISTANCE!!!" Maybe I just like the military/commanding style better? Anyway, it was a great workout and I didn't feel bad about not riding the Parkway.

I have a media watchdog paper to write for next Tuesday. It's one of those really vague assignments that you get to pick the topic yourself, which is sometimes a really good thing. I'm kinda lost on this one. The professor must think that we, the class, just have all kinds of time to devote to her class. She wants us to watch the news for five days, listen to the radio, read magazines, books, online articles, but no newspapers. We're suppose to research how a topic is presented in each of these areas, find the biases, and then argue our own position on the issue. Seriously? I have no idea where to start. I'm kinda thinking about doing something on North Korea? I would love for the whole Tour/Landis fiasco to still be prominent in the news, but alas, I shall have to content myself with politics. What else could I have a position on? Fantasy sports? Oh! I could write about health! That could be interesting! I'll spend some time searching the Internet for a topic.

I really need work to be over. I have so much to do for school and around the house. I desperately need to finish the quilt for the guest bedroom. I made purses for my friend S's birthday and my sister's birthday. I need to mail them out! My friend, K, is getting married this weekend. It's an outdoor wedding, so I hope the weather is nice... for her sake and for the guests.